Wednesday, September 13, 2006

~ emptiness ~

ok, another of you readers from my past writings, these were the cause of wounds which was inside, at the time it felt right, but now i dont know know, it was just about my feelings i suppose, one sided and closed up thoughts on myself, i've seen the light now, perhaps this is why they say u have to go through darkness to see the light, the darkness i went through was somethin to learn from.. so read and put ur comments...

emptiness just gets deeper in my myself
every second seems eternity without you
the more i try to keep myself busy
im reminded about you
feeling so lost and confused without
darkness just seems to be taking all over me
why does this happen to me?
would anyone have the answer to my question...
you alone hold the key to my joy and pain!
when the world seems to be the last place i want to be in
with you in it i dont mind spending my eternity in it with you
why wouldnt you understand my love for you
im not asking you to love me back,
im asking you just to understand my love for you
the truth that we both cant be together as lovers was known to me from the start
its just a wish n dream that i had, atleast as a friend you would understand me and accept me for who i am
but i guess that was not to ask for or dream about and wish for...
endless nights with thoughts and dreams about you in my mind
and today you want me to shatter all those dreams and hopes i've had about you
forget you, stop loving you, stop caring for you...
this is what we really meant for?
you wanted to see me being in love with someone
but when i choose to love you with all my life you ask me throw it away and forget everything about you
i dont know wht you meant to do to me by asking to be in love and now you ask me to throw that away..
i never meant to be in love with anyone
i started loving everything about you
when you meant to help others and turned bad, and others laughed at you
i had nothin to say except to pity them and loved you for what extent you would go for others not for yourself..
you asked me to believe in me but when are you going to start believing in yourself?
my mind is filled with those sweet memories we had together as friends
even when i choose to be a friend to you, love you and care for you
you choose not to understand me and accept somethin so small as this...
even knowing your reason why you dont want to understand my love.. there is something in me hoping you will some day..
till then and for ever i choose to love you n care for you as a friend
its your choice to throw me away and watch me in emptiness without you..


Mr. Evil said...

I think i'm going thru something close to this right now.. more like the last few sentences!

~ lo$t $oul ~ said...

well this is long time back mate and i think i have a vague idea about how u feeeling, atleast to understand why someone loves you... we think about our side, maybe some woman cant take up the ideology of someone loving, us n them (men -us, them - fem) think differently when it comes to love n relationship..

Gobblezygook said...

I hope you'd stop reliving the past...really ! Speak it over with someone and forget about it, tear off those journals if you could...Whatever you do, don't go back n dwell on them..Hugggs

Lady divine said...

yep...everytym u go back and keep thnking abt it, it tends to hold u frm takin a step it out and just as hard as u can 2 4get abt it...aftr all, life is short to keep thnkin of what hurts the most, when better thngs can happen in life..i've been thru worse..dont do that mistake..