Friday, April 10, 2009

~ coffee date ~

Looking at his phone screen, waiting for the seconds to pass until the time for him to meet the one he has been sitting motionless for the passing tensed minutes. Memories rush into his head of the times they’ve been together. The good ones racing to come out before the bad ones, but he sulks in them all and let’s himself drift into a dreamland where everything seems to be a bliss. He pictures the first day they both met, where he saw the tensed look on her face and watch it all fade away as he gave away her favorite flowers he picked for her on the way to meet her. He spent more time at picking the flowers than he did getting ready. Thoughts of doubt rushed into him, yet he kept his player coolness and brushed away that adrenaline rush to his head. He was only looking straight into her eyes, complimented her genuinely about the way she looked and how great she smelled and a nice hair do which took her time n effort. He let her make her choice of what she wants, liked her instant comfort in his company and his in hers; he knows there is more than just this coffee she hesitantly agreed to.

He left her to let her naturally fall into his comfortable arms, when she sulked deep into the leather couch they both were in; his hands slowly went around her, holding her gently close to him, with a soft brush over arms, which made her giggle n brush away saying “don’t you dare try tickling me”. For which he took as a challenge and let his hands reach towards her hip and tickle her over slight bulge which she was embarrassed that it revealed and she covered with her arms around herself. He drew back, reaching for the coffee on the table, as she reached forward towards his back and put her right arm over his shoulder and the other around his waist and rested her head on his broad strong shoulder. Her hair conditioner faintly filling his air that he inhales and exhales out, as he draws a sip on his bone dry coffee, how he likes them best from his favorite coffee shop.

She tells him not to move, stay on a little longer until she thinks she had enough of his strong body against her. She lets go off him and he hands her cream caramel latte, her hands reach for them, as fingers brush against each other and eyes meet throwing electricity at one and another. They hold themselves looking into each others eyes and her fingers slowly crawling over his now, as he lets go of the cup and she takes them over, goes back to rest on the couch, crossing her legs over on the right, a little closer to him. His fingers slowly run over her smooth skin and draws back. Restricting himself not to let his past walk into his present. There was some mystery hidden in her, loneliness that crept her at night and took away her sleep, a yearning to be loved, which he read about her in all the long nights of messaging each of all the random things they both kept coming up with into the wee hours of the morning, until he dozed to bed, with his fingers on the keypad.

“Lets break the silence” she said, “do you find me boring?” with a innocent smile that followed with her question. He answers “I’m just mesmerized by your beauty, in a trance, in a way making me feel high on coffee with you, I just can’t say if it’s you or the coffee, that’s making me feel this way”. She blushes away from him, slaps his arms softly and then fingers curl around it as she pulls herself to him. “So do you have a girl friend?”, he looks blank into her eyes, as she can only draw a embarrassing smile, which she takes in another sip of her latte to cover herself from the stupid question which she blurted out. He emotionally replies “not anyone other than the one sitting right next to me”. She draws back at the reply and questions his reply. He sits the coffee down and turns towards her, takes her hand in his, almost on his knees, “would you be my girl friend?” in a melody. She bursts into a hysterical laugh, as he tries to wipe away his embarrassed, quizzical smile. She sharply replies “I already have one!” He’s puzzled by her answer, waits for her to continue, as she says “What?” He raises his eyebrows and nods motioning her to continue. She excuses herself and walks to the restroom, leaving him puzzled, with blood rushing all over his body, he starts shaking his leg and the words “I already have one!” keeps running through his head over n over n over again.

He doesn’t realize she is back, until she ruffles his already messy hair, he tries to excuse himself for not tidying up. She covers to say – “that’s alright, ill excuse you only for today my boyfriend”. With a sharp turn towards her, his eyes wide open, looking straight into her eyes, questioning her answer. She replies softly by saying, “you were my boyfriend already before you asked me the formal question, that’s why I even agreed to meet you”. They had not shared pictures of each other, they both wanted to leave out the looks for fate to decide, but they shared a lot more than that. His past, his pains, his dark desires, his willingness to change from those dark desire, his silly escapades with other females, his faults, his taunts, his goofy hilarious laugh, his flirtatious cues. Her painful childhood, her torn family, her love for animals, her wish to disappear, her loneliness, he childish wants of cookies, dancing in the rain when no one is watching, dream about a prince charming, her belief in romantic fairy tales and lastly her painful breakup that takes away her beautiful smile each time she thinks about it.

They both somehow formed a cocoon for both of them to find comfort in each other and dwell into after a long tiring day, they said the cruel world had to offer. His awe happiness she could read from his gasp for air and the excitement in his dark brown eyes as they glee up and wide open. He couldn’t believe his ears and blurted out “come again”. She came closer to him, kissed him softly on his cheeks and threw her hands around his neck, leaving him flabbergasted and in awe, he slowly collects himself and puts his arms around her slowly, holding her in a gentle hug. She whispers, “I love you” and draws herself from the hug and turns herself away from him, slightly mad at herself, without evening knowing if he had any feelings for her. She cursed her lips for jumping out before her mind can decide. He moves without her notice, plucks out a little flower from the trees around them, and comes behind her slowly, softly keeps it on her dark thick jet black hair. She turns around in a glee and he gets on knees, arms wide open with the words “I LOVE YOU” escaping his lips in all meaning and purpose. She tries to hide her face from the sweet embarrassment, with the by passers in their laugh and claps and astonishment at his public confession of his love.

She pulls him put to her and pushing her face into his chest to hide and vanish away, as he slowly raises her chin, looks only into her eyes filled with blissful love, he softly kisses her on the corner of her lips and lets her rest herself on him, face buried in his chest, fingers holding his collar of his dark blue shirt, in a tensed grasp to not let go as if it’s the end of the world. He assures that he is not going to leave her for anything else. From now on, she’s all that’s left in his world, he thinks she knows that. She hesitantly accepts to what he says. Both left to dream in each other’s arm. He realizes it’s been a while as a bill lands on his table. Paying what’s due, “are you ready to leave” he asks, “you promised you wouldn’t leave me for anything!” she replied. He strokes her hair, “you’ve got to go home my silly girlfriend”, “yes, but not yet” she replies. He lets her have it her way. His lips crawl to her ear, once again “love you my silly baby”. She smacks him sharply on his arm and only to hurt herself. “Let’s go”- she finds the words to put out. He says “a little while more please”, she rests back on him as he keeps stroking her hair. They both part ways, were waiting for one and another to leave the other. Her phone rings, as she looks at the display, and *sighs* my driver is here. She kisses him on the cheeks and parts with a bye. As he returns them, she pulls away in haste, and winks at him. His lips moves to make out the words I love you and he signs to call him. She turns her back on him, he watches her walk away from him, feet away from him with each passing second. He *sighs* and walks away. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he reads 1 New Message, goes on to open the message, ‘I love you, silly boy friend. Kiss’, thumbs at the keypad to reply ‘love you butterfly’.

Only thing that draws up on his dark face, is a smile that is never tired of coming up, each time he thinks about her. But today, he felt a sudden rush in his body, his mind a little more disturbed than usual. Trying to relax himself in his dark worn out jeans, a t-shirt she had bought for him and his messy hair how she always liked it, his two days unshaven scruffy dark face. He opens the last message she had sent him last night after an hour long conversation, reads in his mind, “please come meet me tomorrow, I want to see you, good night, try not to miss meJ.” Tapping his fingers on the screen and the deep stare at the entrance from where he is seated, waiting for her at the same coffee shop he met her for the first time. His lips widen in a soft smile, as he see’s her open the door and walk in, pulling out her phone to call him. He stands up for her and waves her to come over. There was no smile on her face, a casual jean and top that he had got for her in one of the many dates and window shopping spree they had been out, this particular one she was found at the first look, which he disappeared and the next minute it was wrapped and handed to her in an instant. Along with the pair of earrings’ that he got for her from the last business trip that kept them both away for a long 2 months. She walks right up to him, as he open his arms for that warm hug she fancies any day any time of the day or night, she bursts into a slight cry with tears pouring like water rushing after a flood gate was let lose. He’s lost at what could have terribly happened.

He try his best to calm her down, takes her hand bag and lays it on the table next to them, he didn’t care what people around him thought of them at the moment. Only she mattered to him. He swore to bring the wrath on anyone that made her cry or even ounce of displeasure. She tries to speak amidst her cries and heaves. He kisses her on her forehead and holds her hands tight, “its alright baby boo, I’m here, everything would be ok.” He tries his best to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong. She tries to speak out again, he makes her rest for little while longer until she wipes her tears off and start to say “I have to …….”………. (to be continued)

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

~ the days gone by ~

Don't think I’ve ever taken such a long break from writing, the last post shows, 3months ago; this is of a list of things that happened last year.  The New Year has been really a tough one so far, in all good ways. I was asked to come join another company. A decision which I may have done blindly or not though I wouldn’t know yet. But never the less it was decided that I called it quits with the company I’ve been working for the last 5 years. It was in a way lil hard in the last few days of cleaning my desk off and drawers which were always empty or with others stuff. But what I’ve learnt so far from the company, the ppl, the bosses, has been tremendous. I’ve never pictured myself as I corporate guy, heck I didn’t even dream of sitting on a desk and doing what I do best with numbers and a pc. But that has all changed over the years and how I’ve developed myself into becoming more resourceful and expendable asset to an organization. The company grew in size as in a way of buy over and merger, found myself to be a grain of sand on the longest beach. With all this I expected growth, a growth that was promised and some reason that had slipped under the carpet and remain unspoken of. I was very disgruntled at this, but never did I stop doing what I was supposed to do. So I remained there, until I found a suitable chance of moving out, and I did jump at the first instance I got. Which didn’t come easily, it was long 2-3 months process I would say. A lot goes for the global economic downturn, or so they say.

Now I’ve moved to a smaller organization. Comparatively, well you can’t actually compare cause the company im working for is less than the dept I use to be running back at the old office. So you can imagine how I might actually feel, there is a big hole left of how things worked and happened. But im trying to stay focused with my goals and try to pick up things on the way. I’m not saying it’s entirely not worth my effort in there, but I do have a certain way of working, which is not matched easily. Standards which I set myself too high always, working at a pace which normally higher than how a company actually works with all the red tapes, large corporate structure and all that comes along. I’m stuck in the mid –way thinking if it was the right choice. Well many didn’t advice against it, well I didn’t ask much though, I got the offer, and then I just accepted it and gave the news. The working hours are a big toll, but then again, I guess it’s a sacrifice I’ve got to make to get what I need. Since I’ve started working, which is closing to 2 weeks, I’ve had only 4hours of sleep maximum.

Not that its long hours, it’s the hours of work that makes it difficult. I’ve been working on UK project for the past 5 years, so which means I have the luxury of getting out of my bed really late, cause I have to work when UK works, so that mean I get to office only by 1.30 in the afternoon n drag till 10.30.. All that changes now, caused I’ve managed to get myself to work for the aussies.. Given that they are 5.30 hrs ahead of us, I have to give up my sleep, I have to start at 3 in the morning and go on till 11 in the afternoon. Hours haven’t changed, but the zone has. It’s still hard to find myself the proper sleeping pattern. I get a nap in the bus on the way back home actually. One of these days if you do see me sleeping somewhere along the road, pls do come say hi!

So I shall write more in due time with the tales of down under. Well not actually, I still live in the sl and have to work for them. What is the perk, I get paid in AUD(I haven’t got my paycheck yet, so hold it, what ever thought that came in the head), well not for long as they are trying to establish to pay in SLR, sucks kinds like. And I work on the 5th floor of the high roll apartment of Colombo ;-) but I still haven’t seen any hot one’s yet.. Maybe I need to pick another roster or move around the lobby maybe.. Hope I didn’t give out too much detail.. J

So until then, I’m still alive. A lot has been happening on the side, where I’ve become a certified bastard by any degree/classification I would say; well that’s what I’ve been to a close friend of mine. Don’t think I will talk about it at all. But just that I don’t want to say SORRY or even ask for FORGIVENESS. I’ve turned my back on someone who needed me the most and what’s done is done, I don’t know how else to put it.  OH I’ve been soooo inspired to write something similar to a post I read lately, not sure of the blogger, it’s something like bohemian …something! My jaws literally dropped at reading the post. I shall try my hands on that, but im sure I would never accomplish the style of writing. Jeez the post is too long; don’t think anyone would have gotten down so far.. me got to go now, wondering if I shud play on ps2 or watch new season of Heroes, or pen down that story. Oh and the post comes as request from someone, and SOMEONE, you know who I’m talking about.