~ past ~

ok, here's another from the dark times of ma life, actually one of those times. i dont know how many would get wht i'm sayin, but it was just an expression of feeling. i found my way to let go of things through writing.. so here it is, take time to read up and drop a comment...


keep remebering my past over and over again
remind myself not to hold onto to but just to remember of it as a past
there is nothing i wud want to erase from it
there is nothing i wud want to add to it
everything that happend was for a reason and everything happened for the best
even though we had our mistakes
we had our fun and we had our best of times
even though things got complicated and made a distance between us we still liked being with each other
or atleast i was more comfortable having you around than anyone else
i meant to tell you everything for the only reason that u know me better and more than anyone else
atleast one person who wouldnt judge me and wud take me for who i am
i might have not been the best friend for you or atleast a good friend for you
but inside me i know i atleast tried to be there and might have failed
have no regret about caring about you have no regret for not having things go the way i wanted to be
but admist everythin we still happen to be friends
thats wht matter to me most and maybe thats wht we both needed from each other
just two people to be friends and be there for each other when each other needed other
all that mattered was the kinda of relationship we had with each other as friends and never mistook one and other
I've been myself around you and you yourself when ur with me
didnt have to put someone else for each other
we were comfortable being ourselves
i dont think i will ever regret about telling you the truth even though i know you wud want to kill me for wht i do
i dont know how is that you and i became friends
i remember you telling me you found a lil kid who didnt have anyone to talk to and who was frustrated about everything and you just wanted to help me out
you know what i saw in you, a woman who couldnt be more honest with her friends, who coudnt be more shy about her sleeping habit, who wud love to care for anyone without expecting anythin in return, who wud give her life for her siblings, who feels bad about even crying in front of a friend, everything so perfect and imperfect about her.
its strange how life brings two people together in the strangest form of caring for each other
everytime i think to myself if anyone cares for me i remember the smile of yours when ur down yet u dont want to show it
be always proud of your self darling never let other put you down
your who you are and never change for anyone else
i dont think i will ever see someone like you
but even if i didnt she wouldnt come close to ma dearest friend
nothing on earth can take my past away from me
but that doesnt stop me from moving onto my future and not ruining my present
im still enjoying my present being a friend and being there for you
and hope that ill be around some where in your big big big life
well memories is all we have to help us smile when the world comes down on us
never have i been clear about what i want in my life
never would know how wud i go on without my friend snapping me back to reality when im in false dreams
everything may seem too much all of a sudden but it happend for a reason
i never really got to know what i mean to you or what i write to you means anything for you
but ur smile means almost everything you want to say to me but doesnt come out in words
just hoping someday you would tell me wht i write to you means and wht you felt
been away from each other and still finding time to say hi
well my life seems to be taking a turn back with the stupid troubs i fall into like always
would love the company of a friend, someone to sit down and talk to you lik we use to
but sometimes atleast a one word txt from the person means alot
even though we have ended up with different things to go on with our lifes and drift away from each other we find some reason to be ther for each other
i guess thats wht somethin special about us and thats wht we are meant to be
still miss those long walks, ice creams, fighting with each for stupid reasons, talking long hours after work, watching you crave for something and then give it to your sis cos she likes it, too many things in my mind
i'm meant to be who i am right now, just a friend will always be ther for you as one
till my fingers are nibling again on the keyboard again, a hug a kiss from a friend who misses you...