Friday, February 25, 2011

~ short stories ~

The cold bench was sending a stinging sensation through her body, the evening breezing wasn’t helping much either, making her feel more nervous and uncomfortable of having to sit all by herself in this late evening. The large tree behind was her concave for their escapades for the few times they have been here. Her mind was racing as why he wanted to see her all of a sudden, in this hour of the day. Why this rush inside her body, she couldn't fathom, brushing her mind off with all the questions inside her.

She felt a touch on her left shoulder, a warm known grip, she instantly swung around sprung herself from the bench and her eyes met his, words none spoken yet. She saw another shadow, as though someone behind him, her eyes confirmed it was someone else beside him. It threw her back, like a punch in her gut, how this could be happening to her, after all she has been through. She had thought the ghost was never to be seen ever again, but yet there it was right in front of her, alongside her happiness, the reason why she is even alive today. She could not know this was the reason he wanted to see her, this was the reason for the rush at this late hour, all her answers were answered, but she was not ready for it. Not for this one. This was not a scenario she had in her mind.
Waking up to the loud noise, which she knew was coming from the ground floor. Her first and instant reaction was a curse, why her man was not beside her, why did he have to be away from her, tonight of all nights. As she tried to get herself up from the bed, she couldn’t move her limbs, her mind was pushing signals to her muscles to move, but nothing was happening. Her eyes started to fill with tears, soft moans was escaping her lips, she knew not to her cry, but she was feeling entirely lost and purposeless, she could not even wipe away the tears from her eyes, as she was laying still on the bed, her tears started to flow down the sides. She cursed the gods, whom she had been so devoted to her all her life, right from her childhood memories as she could remember, going to the cathedral close to her home, which looked giant to her for the first time when she stepped on the small pebble stoned steps leading to a large open wooden door, holding her daddy’s hand, tight, in her pretty white frock with ribbons. Why did they decide put her through this, she has not done any harm to another human being, her mind was screaming loud as possible, yet the room was in silence.
Her mind started to wonder, what that sound could have been, all sorts of possibilities were running through her mind, the worse ones was on top of the list and was coming back into her mind as she tried to brush them away with the thoughts of her love.
The ray of light going across her face was slowly bringing her out of her slumber. Her mind ran through a long list of things which were penned as routine, until today. Today she had none of that routine life anymore, she had the days ahead all to herself, which instantly brought a smile across, as she stretched herself lazily in the large bed, and yet she could not reach the foot rest, the sheet sprawling on her, almost or barely even covering her essentials. She reached out for her blackberry, there were no notifications lights blinking away, which on any other day would show a screen filled with notifications of new mails and text messages demanding her attention. She sprung her upper body up, sitting up on the bed, she was looking at herself on the ceiling to floor mirror on the right hand side of her bed which is in the dead centre of the room, with a large fan over head still hovering in full speed. She manages to get herself out of bed in all laziness and walk downstairs to the kitchen to make her a hot cup of coffee, though she never liked it hot. Leaving the water to boil, she was never the instant coffee person, she liked coffee pure brewed. Walking over the sitting space of the house, her hand involuntarily goes to up the remote resting on the glass coffee table right in front of the leather couch which she picked up last year before all this. Her fingers rubbing on the track pad of her mac, her screen comes to life, wondering if her life might be dull with a plain and clutter free desktop with just the minimum of icons, with a new mail notification.

She had a question, should she read the mail, the dead silent space was now filled with the news channel showing the latest happenings across the world, she could not bother to pay attention to the voice on the television. The voice in her head was asking to read, but another asking her not to, both was growing louder with each passing second. Her fingers rushed to the tap on the notification, which sprang up her inbox, with a name she dreaded to see in her inbox, but her rush was slowed, seeing there was no subject, could this mean anything at all? There was always something in the subject, but not today, why not?, was her question now.
Feeling the evening cold air rush across her face, more like she was racing through it, she could almost taste the bitter sea spray from the blue ocean on her left, she took her eyes off the road for a second to catch a glimpse of the sunset, sending her mind in rewind. Her eyes setting back on the long stretch of wavy road ahead, a soft smile draws across her face, sending her mind in spiral of thoughts back to the time when she came to the city for the first time in her life, when she was young na├»ve, and free spirited. She wanted so much back then, she questions herself now if she actually wanted all those wishes to be just wishes or not. Everything had been a lesson in her life, everything little experience, every person she had come across. Her parting from the city has been a humble one, but not her entrance. She came from a town few towns away from the city that never sleeps; she experienced it, after reading about in magazines in her teenage years. Everything about a city fascinated her – skinny girls, glamorous movie stars, the social elite, the bad boys, the movers, the shakers and she wanted her name etched somewhere along with them.

Leaving her town at the very young age of 19, not a run away, she loved her family too much for that, her over protective old brother, a younger street smart brother and little baby sitter who looked up to her and wanted to grow up just like her. She wanted to be famous, she never had the survival chance coming from a small town, but her passion and will was more than enough. She wanted to be the face of world famous brands, her silhouette on billboards, walk the ramp for the most outrageous stylist and designers, party all night long till your heels come off, be on the A list. Her senses coming back to reality, when she heard a loud bang against her Bentley Continental, bringing the car to a screeching soft after half a spin. She tried to catch her breath, hesitantly looking over her right shoulder; she could not make out what she might have knocked over.
She walked up to him with another glass of his favorite poison and one in her hand for her, wine, just enough to make her tipsy yet enough to be in her sense still so the night doesn't run for too long or in the most of awkward or a mockery of herself. She took a deep breath before stepping closer to him; she was facing his large broad back, which she admired, one of the things about him. Leaning against the half wall on the balcony, standing on tip toe, she leaned towards him, reaching up to his ear to whisper, “What’s on your mind?” with soft peck on his neck. Getting back on her feet, she hands him his poison for the night, just the first round yet. His response to her was half a smile and peck on her cheek, his lips began “thanks for having me over”, she stopped him half way with her finger on his lips. She didn't need his thanks; she knew he has been going through something difficult all by himself and when her phone screen lit up with his name as the caller, her fingers raced to answer his call. Tonight she could not even get him to smile, when all she can remember his bright and child like smile.
She reached for his cheeks with her soft small fingers, lips just whispering, “Whatever it is, let it go, before it eats you out and takes you away from me, it’s not worth it” her eyes almost going sad watching him like this. She inched closer, “don’t I even deserve that smile of yours?”
He held the little fingers in his for the first time; he felt a new rush, his blood almost rushing against his skin. He never thought he would be in this position, but today after this, anything seemed possible, he was father to this is child. The mother was next to the new born baby, she was not even willing to look at him. She wanted to scream out loud asking him to get away from both of them, but she couldn't, if it was any other day, any other circumstance, she would have never hesitated to hold her tongue. She tried to help herself to sit up, he body was so sore that she couldn't move herself, he reached out to help out of almost gag reflex, and her fingers almost tighten her grip around on his arm, she couldn't fight him today, her body giving away and having someone she despises to aid her at this time, was not what she had in mind.

She felt a sudden emptiness in her life, her room didn't have any flowers and there was no one else other than him, the baby, and her. She never played it in her mind like this; she wondered if all the fights with him were worth all this, the fight for him has left her with almost nothing.