Wednesday, May 31, 2006

~ recovery ~

recovery from an addiction is the hardest part of falling out of it. there is no institution to help ma kinds addiction, its within me, brought out by someone special. wouldnt be no other than ma baby boo, one simple question that struck hard on me, we were just friends, but we were single at the time she asked me the question. i've never entertained the idea of having a relationship with her, maybe cos she was never the type of ladies i use to get involved with earlier. but we sticked out as friends for couple of years and now slowly she has somewhat come close to ma heart over the months since she came down n left back to temporary home. since then we have been talkin almost daily just about anything from ice cream to ma pain. she has never complained or stopped listening to ma continous whinning of over the rough patch.

has seen me over the bad boy i've been upto, never sticked with me for that but stood out as a friend and said make ma own decision of what i want to be. appreciated her for understanding that i needed to do things on my own and go to rock bottom and then get up from that. hit the rock bottom and on the bounce back, she just held ma hand tight or noticed something i couldnt stop appreciating her for. her care n love for me. always loved conversation with even though if we think back there would be nothin material, we would talk about world issues, we would talk about what ice cream u wanna have, if she wanna smack me if i'd be in trouble again.

im new to this, never really wondered how long distance relationship worked. but even being friends across ocean is a relationship that i've worked at i guess or its just come with the flow. but we both have a long way to go. im my terms a very long way, since we both are so young and so much to achieve and places to go. everything seems blurred, but only thing for certain at the moment is im happy with her and with her even oceans away from her im willing to wait for her. i've got 6 months to straighten out the me and be the perfect man for her. i've got alot to recover from and stay away from, but with her in ma mind n heart everything seems easy but hard to do. i've giving my try at being her's only as i've promised, failure in this term might be the nature of man, but not for me, with her there cant be mistakes and there shouldnt be secoond chances. she is too precious to be hurt, too sweet to be heart broken, too much of everything for me that i dont know what i'd be without her!

this is a time for me to be happy with what i've been given, having a smile each day i wake up, having when i go to bed. think of her more than i think about anything else. it seems too fast, be nothing in my life has been slow, either good or bad has happened fast, faster than the previous one. so all im hoping is alteast this happiness would last in my life and everything would be ok from now. having to make sacrifices, having to let go of things which i've indulged in, everything for her. i don wannabe just another guy to her, im goin to be the guy for her.


Sweet Idiot said...

Love does wondrous things eh?

~ lo$t $oul ~ said...

very much...