~ happiness ~

well starting off with another note which someone asked me to write about. tried explaining to the * that whats all around me and everything about that person, but just would not believe it, wants me to write something which makes only me happy.

its just to common and narrow to say what makes me happy, i don't suppose anything that has made me happy is because i wanted to do it, but its because someone asked me to do it and i did it for them and through seeing them being happy i was more over filled with happiness. going to hit the big 21 in a few months time, can't believe to myself what i've been through, yet now i know how to smile, learnt it from someone who i saw go through alot more than what i could go through in a lifetime and yet knows to have a smile whent the world comes down. wonder to myself how she does it? simple, try to live life the simple way then when u fall down from simple things its easy to pick yourself up again and have a go at it another time. tried that a couple of times never really worked for me. always been flamboyant type. so taking the piece of advise as for days to come in ma life, trying to be simple atleast then would i get happiness? so whats made me happy so far, that has kept me going, hmmm for the recent times i can remember, its someone smile. a smile that i fell in love with, the smile which helped me get back on my feet when i fell down so many times. thinking about all that still draws a smile on me. i use to die to see her smile, drive myself crazy to get new ideas to make her smile. that was something i've never done. never would want to replace anyone there. to wht i'm now has alot to do with her smile.

go further back, i was so happy when every material things was from my bling bling which i toiled for. that was so great, to be young, to be earning your cash, being financial independent, showing off that its all yours and not living in ur parents' shoes ;-) that was awesome. more than hapiness i think it has alot to do with pride. to what i was to where i'm now, thats like a turn around no one expected but something i dreamt of. thank god (i don wanna put a name) lucky stars im still alot wack. goin back, hmm when i was jobless, only thing i had to was go to classes couple of days for a week and thats about it. really boring time of my life, but then thts when i got ma own mobile, literally ma own mobile, ma saving baby&^%$#@.. hehe it felt awesome then to be able to buy your own. then i got a job, thats even before turning 18, kinda addition to the pride, use to be doing whatever i wanted and butter up the owner(lady) was alright, but never earned ma hots ;-)

back.. hmm the good old school days!! hehe no, wait up, there was a period when i quit school very early my most ppl std which still knocks the daylight out of some ppl. quiting schooling, only go there to hang out with ma mates and to play bball. always sneaking around the back gate to we can play ball. then i wanted to live alone, shipped myself to india with the help of my mother, i wasnt that bloated(own bling bling) at that time. stayed at one of the hotest city you could possibly be living in. but i was for almost three months, i was way too adrenaline pumped, the guys i stayed with were way older, i was 16 they were like 23 + i think.. wel i was even happy, living all myself, hated having to wash my clothes. then loved the weather and solitude.
going back to school, the entire blog wont be enough to tell about the fun! cut all the obscene, it was awesome hella time, sacked 3 maths tutor, 2 computer tutors, 1 economics tutor, made a tutor cry n fall off the stage. hmm i think ill be sued for this, but then again, i never gave out the names, ma class mates knows the havoc and menace that we were. ooops this is a drag n lots of it.. so laterz im off..