"I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home..."
"i've haven't left to any place too remote to be out of touch,
too from civilization,
too far from friends,
too far from those i believe love me,
im next to you,
but i've been gone."
first one is by fort minor which i cant seem to get it out of my head. second is of mine which i feel right now at é moment. my mind has formed a cocoon to distance myself my others. in turn i've managed to hurt the one who loves me. things are starting to be of struggle at the moment. but i feel tht is no excuse to be keep away. i dont know wht im doing sometimes. its all just blur. i know wht i want in life, but gettin wht i want is just too much of a struggle. i was alone i cud do anythin i wanted n the wy i wanted. but not anymore, adjustin to relationship takes time.. right now i've somehow managed. by her love for me or something or the other. i've known to be strong enough nt to crack easily. yesterday my mind just froze when a phone conversation ended up in a hang up by her. things at office was not at the least of normal situation as this happens.. so the day was of fight.
i still cant find a reason as to why this happens, how much she's changed about me, how much she's managed to be inside and take over me. is this wht u call love or i have no idea. too far too deep is how it looks to me. the waking up of each mornin to her voice(not living together, just a wake up call, when im barely gettin to sleep), the long conversation on the phone, the irregular meeting at late nights. just a chat and walk around holding her hand. all of that wud be not there for the rest of time until she returns to sri lanka she calls home. nothin is for certain in my life, and the emptiness is now filled, but all good things dont last long in my life. not once, not twice, too many times to count.
i wish i wud get to explain to her how i feel. but words n time is somethin which i dont have. im not passionate, emotional, expressive lover. but do u have to be tht to love someone. to give your everythin for u.. but not right. if you think u can hold on a lil longer...ill make it upto you. till then you'd have sing "where did u go...since u be gone, missing you..where did u go..?"
A Friendless Year
4 months ago