~ what would i do ~

been mising you ever since the network went dead on us
havent heard ur voice in 2 weeks, seems like a very long time
the early mornin wake up to ur sweet voice
now my mornings empty, just waking up without hearin ur voice
ur sweet innocence which draws a smile on me always, now only in my memory
waiting til you come back into my arms
to catch you looking into ma eyes
to watch you go blank, to put my arms around you n tell you that i love you

Been all crazy everytime i think about you
two weeks seems endless, thinkin about how long you goin to be away just makes me stare into emptiness
never waited for anyone like i've done for you
maybe the loniless is creeping inside me too much
wanting to be with every second, hopin i wud get more time with you
im sorry i've not given you all my time, somehow you've made me feel how much i need you
how much you must have wanted to be with me n i didnt give you time
makes me look stupid n not worth your time

made up ma mind that you'd be my everythin when u come back
goin to make it upto you ma lil baby love
thinking about all the times you'd get cute with me
thinkin about how much im missin when ur not around me
and when ur around me, the wy ur arms goes around me
the way u make u feel excited when i hold u in my arms
when smile innocently like a lil child

please come back sooon
waiting for you

~ where did u go ~

"I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home..."

"i've haven't left to any place too remote to be out of touch,
too from civilization,
too far from friends,
too far from those i believe love me,
im next to you,
but i've been gone."

first one is by fort minor which i cant seem to get it out of my head. second is of mine which i feel right now at é moment. my mind has formed a cocoon to distance myself my others. in turn i've managed to hurt the one who loves me. things are starting to be of struggle at the moment. but i feel tht is no excuse to be keep away. i dont know wht im doing sometimes. its all just blur. i know wht i want in life, but gettin wht i want is just too much of a struggle. i was alone i cud do anythin i wanted n the wy i wanted. but not anymore, adjustin to relationship takes time.. right now i've somehow managed. by her love for me or something or the other. i've known to be strong enough nt to crack easily. yesterday my mind just froze when a phone conversation ended up in a hang up by her. things at office was not at the least of normal situation as this happens.. so the day was of fight.

i still cant find a reason as to why this happens, how much she's changed about me, how much she's managed to be inside and take over me. is this wht u call love or i have no idea. too far too deep is how it looks to me. the waking up of each mornin to her voice(not living together, just a wake up call, when im barely gettin to sleep), the long conversation on the phone, the irregular meeting at late nights. just a chat and walk around holding her hand. all of that wud be not there for the rest of time until she returns to sri lanka she calls home. nothin is for certain in my life, and the emptiness is now filled, but all good things dont last long in my life. not once, not twice, too many times to count.

i wish i wud get to explain to her how i feel. but words n time is somethin which i dont have. im not passionate, emotional, expressive lover. but do u have to be tht to love someone. to give your everythin for u.. but not right. if you think u can hold on a lil longer...ill make it upto you. till then you'd have sing "where did u go...since u be gone, missing you..where did u go..?"