Friday, November 20, 2009

~ letter to 16 (tagged) ~

Here's the follow on the tagging.. by Santhoshi, who broke the rule :D..besides rules where meant to be broken. Wanted to use this tag in the story(crap) im writing these days, but i've been tagged so.. have to adhere to this.. :D

Oi Lo$t $oul,

Ya thats the name you'll be known by in about 4years time in a place called blogosphere. Yes im the future you, i know you must be jumping up and down now. shut it and listen to me, like thts going to happen. Cutting the crap, pointers what you might go through, just a heads up, thats all.

Your planning to go to India again and yes your going for that wedding. you remember your hunch of you being with a single parent for the rest of your life, wish you hadnt had that. Enjoy the wedding, spend time with both of them, you cant stop whats going to happen. Dont go around looking for black shirt, cos you wont get it, and alot of ppl are going to ask you why and how you know and all that crap, they call black as omen, and ur not going to listen i know. So go ahead, learn to shave early, gosh you sloppy ass, always late and last minute just like appa, no wonder he keeps screaming at you all the time. following that your going to go on a trip and thats where everything changes for the rest of your life. next few days are going to be the worst, toughen up boy, pull your socks up.

your going to come back to sl with only one person and ur AS results is going to shock you, doing crash course without going to skool u might think was cool, NOT. Pick on what you like more, all the geeky computer stuff. Your going to leave SL by coming January, live alone and play havoc, and maybe study. You'll get bored soon, dont worry and you'll see alot blood and threats.. you'll come back and wonder wtf to do next. you'll start doing odd jobs that pay you by the hour, no at a petrol station or'll find out. pretty soon you'll go to india again, cos you have the anniversary. things going on like that, no one will hire you yet, cos its illegal you shit to work before your 18.. so much for headstart!! so stop wasting saliva, envelope, stamps, money, walks to post office. You get into some serious trouble cos of your friends, i mean serious. go for the KIT Challenge, but dont go to your friends house after that. You get hired to work for an AD company before ur 18...and when you meet ur boss, tell her she looks good. Dont be shy. You'll feel proud about your 1st paycheck. you'll have your first phone, yes from your savings ofcourse.

Next few months, will work out alright, you'll be talking to someone, you'll drive her insane enough to ask you out, late night text, calls. you'll meet her soon in real too. nothing special happens when ur 18. your on ur wy to india again, coming back you'll have her waiting for you. you'll be head over ur shoes for her, she is someone whom you'd never be able to handle. she is too much of work for you, but still go ahead. loosen the other one you keeping messaging on the side, there is nothin there for you there, but do it anyway, you'll learn a few things. You'll start work in the most strange way, take a bloody shave, wear a tie. No your not going to australia, even though you get accepted. At work you'll meet alot of ppl, good/ok/shitty ppl. ease on your words, you have a loud foul mouth we all know, so tune down a lil if you can. You'll kick some serious ass with your work, you'll have ur seniors whinning you finish work so early.... LAUGH OUT LOUD as you can. The paycheck is going to be way more than you expected, ill leave you to get a mini heart attack.

You'll stand out for you work, loud mouth, showing up late to office or long breaks. Being you, your just going to handle it hows it all meant to be handled. Your not going to be with that girl you dating, she break up, you'll break up, drive you insane. Finally you grow some balls and tell her that you cant do this anymore. You close that book. But hell you'll open alot of doors you didnt know existed. i aint going to tell you what. you'll have a love/hate, more like you both want to kill each other relationship with someone at work. she'll turn out to be quite a work for you, too much most of the time, but you become the punching bag for her and she'll confide in you. Dont worry nothing new you'd need to know, cos your were good at what you did.

Remember the grl you met online who likes In the End by LP as much as u did, who lives half way around the world, you'll meet her soon. She is going to turn your world around. i'll let you find out how you become what you become for her. pretty soon you wont be the same guy. You work well, your now very much known for your foul loud mouth, hot head in office and by the management. People would still hesitate to give you responsibility, FFS your still not even 19...obviously they are not use to having ppl your age running sections of projects. Things will go on as it will, you keep doing what you doing. There is so much you will learn, fall into, get out of, become of in the years... everything is left for you find out.

By the time you turn 21, things will fall into place, you'll have some peace in your life and you will learn to smile more often for no reason when you look at someone picture. You and your love/hate - worst enemy/best friend will grow a bond, stronger, closer. she will happen to be your strength in the comin months, before your 22 everything will fall out of place. You'll lose someone and nothing will be same again. dark times ahead, watch out for emotions that run deep dark inside you. dont give into the suicidal side of you. your strong and try to be. talk to ppl, write more. ok this may some as surprise, even though you've been kicked out ur english & english lit class back in school. you have a way to channel all your anger, dissappoint, so write that long note to the first puppy love gf of yours and you know where to hit the next you down the dark pit. you'll fall deeper into, but something along the wy will save you.

By this time you'll grow more close to your family, your uncles will be teaching how to mix drinks, drink with them, make the best bites and get into trouble with their wifes for it. you'll have a great time growing up. You'll become be distant with your only parent alive. Will make you want to run away so many times, will never understand you nor will you be appreciated for who your. You will be hurt and you wont understand how can you talk to you own blood this way. embrace yourself, cos your so alone now, there is no one who can help you, except yourself. but you start finding other stuff to help you and you know to bottle it up and build walls around you.

By 23 your a different man, things take you down the rut even further and you swim right into as well. You'll never learn from your mistakes, you only have experience. By now you would have carried three coffins, stand next to your uncle and only feel numb. you'll learn not to cry anymore, you'll learn not to give into emotions. when the year begins, you make up ur mind to leave your past behind, including the good things. your even going to leave the special someone in the dark. one side will beat u up inside for it, but the other side knows to take the beating and make you stubborn of what your head wants.

Im 24 now, single, alone but i accept who im, you will learn to accept who you are.. You wud have gone through different hairstyles, full shave, plats, braids, oh yes you grow your hair long enough to get braids done, a piercing, a tattoo and women's name you dont remember anymore who have been in your life and some you dont want to hear ever again in ur life.oh btw.. you get into a whole load of shit cos of the bad habits you have with woman, threats, almost beat ups and what not, but your still alive and you still do what you'll learn to laugh about it all..

its almost november in 2009 and your attitude and you will change so much, you'll regret who your at the moment. there is nothing you can change. life teaches you alot, you learnt it yourself in the wildernes.. once you leave home, you never come back, and your one of them. so live it as it comes, try to save a lil if you can for that rainy day or if you want to do a surprise date, you'll never be rich, but u make the most of what you get and with credit cards. where im today, im proud, cos i made it on my own. when you reach this date, you'll know you'd be writing this.


Anonymous said...

Read this with mixed feelings...I felt so so sad yet despite the sadness,I felt I wud have really really slapped you for some of the mes u mentioned(that came from the DAMN tough mum side of me), but I also felt terribly sorry for the way things have been in,and all that u must have been through, and the extent of confusion you must have felt at such a tender age(yes u are a kid child) of how exactly to handle it! I just would love to know that things will be Ok for you sooner than later! Take care!And stay brave!You are a courageous young lad, and everything will be alright!

Gadgetgirl said...

Loved the way u ended it. :)
" stop wasting saliva, envelope, stamps, money, walks to post office. " Those times. Sigh.

Disease said...

Loved da Post Bro..=D Don't Worry you will survive the tide and succeed you got da belief.. This would be an Attraction that Ladies wont be able to resist..

Good Luck & All da Best ! =D

Scrumps said...

One quote that come to mind as I read this is
"It is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all."

Nice read. :)

~ lo$t $oul ~ said...

GG: thank you... its half of wht i wanted to write.. :)

Disease: thanks bro..lets all hope it turns out alright.. and ya grls love guys with a dark past..

Scrumpy: thanks.. yeh the famous line aint it.. but it is actually true.. you wudnt have known what love is..if other wise..

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the mail! :)


Santhoshi said...

Good Post Lost..
Wish you a great 2010!