With blood rushing all over his body, he has no sense of what has happened so wrong to her. His ear’s running out on patience to know what could be so terribly wrong that has made her weep out in public and his arms. She starts to blurt out for words and only silence and gasp for air comes out from her. He wipes her tears away, moves to an empty couch in the corner. Carrying her bag for her, he leaves it at his side and makes her sit down and let her catch her breath. She curls into his arms once again. Her fingers clutching his collar so tight that she doesn’t want to leave him even an inch of space between them. He brushes through her hair and holds her in one place over his chest, leaving her breath into his skin. His mind tries to hold still and let her come out with what she needs to say to him. No one says a word for time passes by. When she finally opens her eyes, wipes her tears away, holding his hands tight. She blurts out and only a loud sigh that comes out. She holds her breath and a tear at the corner of her eyes, “I have to leave you”.
His mind still blank, rewinding time in his head to figure the words that just came out of her. “You have to leave me?” with no emotions, with no drama in eyes. His eyes completely gone dark n wide. He wished he hadn’t heard what he heard from her. She only blurts out to cry, she has to leave him. He grabs her close to him. He tries again, “what do you mean you got to leave me?” she replies, she has got accepted to go to the university she fancied since she can remember. A loud sigh with relief comes out of him. She puzzled he’s not even moved by this. “Oh that’s great honey, CONGRATS” as he goes to give her a warm hug and tight squeeze. She moves back from him. “Didn’t you hear what I just told you?, I’m leaving on a plane to somewhere you wont see me”. “Your only going away to study, something you wanted, all your life and here is your chance”, he tries to comfort her. She punches into his arms, “Do you always have to be like this?”, punches him once again and pulls herself into his arms to rest a little while. “I’ve been crying ever since I got the letter and couldn’t stop even after talking to you last night”. He shrugs away saying, "its only going to be a only a couple of years, time will fly away honey. You can always come home for summer break or maybe I can come visit you." Her hands go around him and hold him tight. He keeps brushing through her thick dark hair n butterfly kisses on her forehead.
“Do you love me?” spills out from her lips, as he swiftly without wasting a second in silence he replies, “I love you more than anything else in the world, and you know that, and I’m not tired to say it a million times, Now would you like some hot chocolate with marshmallows?. He gets up away from her warmth, to get her something to eat. He knows she hasn’t had anything from last evening. He grabs her sandwich which he knows she is not going to finish, and her favorite strawberry milkshake. Finally a smile on her face when he returns, still dry tears on her cheeks. As she gets up and walks towards the washroom to clean up. He pushes himself back on couch, trying to just figure out what just happened to him in the last 10 minutes. It seemed as though his breath was taken away from him, his life force yanked out of him at the second she said she’s got to leave him. He just closes his eyes and catches his breath for a second. Feeling her fingers going through his rough hair, she pulls him close for quick peck on the cheek. “You know I love you right… Don’t ever leave me please, even if I want to leave” she blurs out. As comforting fortress as he is always, he pulls he up close to him, only to say “never ever.”
She wishes he would ask her not to leave him, but being that he is, what he believed in her, how much he cared about her, he always wanted her to spread her wings wider and go out there and be her best. She was a hard worker, he believed in her more than she believed in herself. Both wanted each other to be better than where they were. He always pushed her to become more, he loved n cared her more than she would know he thought to himself. But she always wanted a simpler life than what he did. Before they both met, they have spent different life separately and together. They both were searching for a reason and purpose in each other.
She parts from him, with much hesitation and reluctance. She knows more than what she has told him. He so naively believed in their dreams. How she always wanted a baby of his, a house just for them, long cold shower while in each others arms. She holds unto his arms tightly, while they both leave, her car waits for her. She gives him one last kiss before they leave, on his right side of the neck. As she takes her lips away from his skin and walks away from his hug, she doesn’t look back this time. He smells her strawberry lip gloss smear over his skin. He waits for her to turn, but she walks ahead in fast stride, as her car pulls he turns and walks away. Still with a naïve smile on his face, as he walks from it al. his phone beeps out – 1 New Text Message, he opens with no hesitation. Reading it in his head, in her voice, “Please don’t leave me ever, I know I’m a difficult person to be with, but I want you with me for the rest of my life. Even if I want you to, would be please stay and fight to be with me.” His fingers quickly moves to punch out, “love you always, no matter where I’m. Good night baby grl. Miss you even now, even though its been only few mins.”
Couple of weeks later, they both make the time to meet each other, just before the day she leaves. He would never forget the day. It was valentines, they both never fancied the overrated day of showing affection, but this time it was different. He had called in a day off, just to even see her beautiful innocent and naive smile of hers, the one that keeps him going in the long hard days at work, when the rest of the world around him crashes. But he was to meet her only for few minutes as she has not even finished packing her bags. He waited out half day, to meet her. They both end up meeting in a haste, he was a little annoyed that she didn’t make it alone, but with her friend. He hides his emotion well under his skin, only to show her happiness that she is there with him. They both act like friends, as her friend was not to know of their relationship. It felt strange to him, but only to understand that her friend was close to her mother and anything spills easily over to the other side could mean disaster, a point of no return for each other, their life’s would change or seize for ever.
They walk around the mall for the final time, in her mind, she thinks, when would she get this long walks, window shopping or even to spend time with him. He takes out for a little treat, asks her to pick anything she likes from the store she strolls in. She picked a couple of dresses, which he jumped to pay for, it drove her mad, it drove her up the walls. She pinches him in front of everyone; she smiles and walks away to the car waiting for her. It ended with a simple hug, He was still left numb, each time she hugs him, there was something about her that he never understood at that moment, when she hastily left him. He tried to grab her hand one last time, just a few more seconds of her soft skin in his hand, but only to find her fingers slip away from his. He stood there watching the car drive away from, he could see her turning her to the back to catch a glimpse of him.
His phone that never stops ringing, thinking its one of those business calls, he picks it up to see a message from “love you baby, happy valentine. Call me tonight, I want to hear your voice before I catch that damned plane, thanks for the dresses.” With a smirk he replies, “anything within my grasp for you baby”. But in his heart he promised to give her a life, the world at her feet, his angel, and his miracle. He often thought to himself, in his silent silly coyish day dream, how lucky he was to be with her, after all that he’s been through, and he thought life still has something for left. Just one last person, who completely loves him for the way he is and wouldn’t change anything about him. But he has come along way, from the player type that he was, to melting at every word of his woman to be. He thought to himself, this is one time I’m not going to give up easily on. I’m going to fight, and until the end, even if its six feet under.
That night, he called to speak to her, but only to get a busy tone. He tried again and again and again, but still the busy tone, wondering if he should call her on her home line. He denies the urge to call her on that, try once more a voice in his head. He tries, with the luck of his stars on his side, she answers in a plain “hello”, he replies in a high pitch glee “hi”. “I cant talk right now, mom around, can I call you from the airport?”, he shrugs in disappointment, “sure, talk to you later.” She hung up on the other side, before he could even open his mouth to tell her that he loves her. Couple of hours pass by, with still no return call from. Voices in his head echo, “she must be going through immigration now, wait a few minutes”. His patience wears thin as he picks up the phone to call her, no answer on it, tried again, still no answer, tried again, only to find a tired n sad “hello baba”, he replies without showing any sad emotion, trying to cheer up, “How are you my baby girl, so you finally get the chance to run away from me”, laughs in a evil glee. She returns sharply “you really thing I want to leave you?, don’t you dare be checking out girls while I’m away” and she asks for a hug over the phone, and he replies “one real tight hug just for my baby, coming right up”. Both of them laugh away at each other’s childishness in them, even after ageing. He senses her tiredness in her voice as her laugh slips into a long sigh. “So would you miss me”, he asks. Lately both of them have not had the time for each other, he working on a new project for the company, while she was busy with packing and letters and restless situation at home.
They both say bye to each other, he waits until she went off on him, and she was waiting for the same of him. Both of them push out a long sigh, and he comes out first, “I’m going to miss you more than ever, take care baby, don’t be much of a naughty girl now” and she replies, “I’m going to miss you like nothing; you just don’t know how much I love you”. They both go on to say bye for the last time, “love you, kiss kiss”. He knows that she leaves to a land half way across the world from where he is, but he holds on to hope and dreams she has given him, one day they would be together, soon, very soon. As he goes through the messages she has sent him over the months they’ve been together, smiling at each and every message from her. He puts his phone down, takes a walk on the balcony, where he spent hours of every night on phone conversation with her when he comes home after work. She has left him with memories that would last him a life time, which he would drag it with him even to eternity. But something in his mind is not right, a hunch, an intuition, that something is not right, the way she has been with him. Somewhat colder than her usual warm n fussy baby like nature. He shrugs off all doubts in his head. He wants to be with her, no matter what comes in the way, he promised to her, he would love her forever.
She settles herself on the window seat, looking out for hope, as she leaves the island and her man behind for a childhood dream, her life long hard work which is waiting to her hers today. She wishes she hadn’t applied for it, this was before they both met each other, before she fell in love with a man who couldn’t be more rusty on the outside and so soft and cushy inside. She loved his passion, his talking, she would spend hours in front of him watching him talk, go on and on and on about anything. She put her arms around her, a voice in her head “He deserves to know everything, you should have told him everything, he would understand and still love you every little bits of you”, another voice echoes against that “He deserves to be happy, my work with him is done, he’ll move on, I’m just another girl to him…”. Sound of the roaring jet engine brings her back to reality, a tear at the corner of her eye, dribbles down on her cheeks. She closes here eyes and tries to remember his warmth one last time. She is leaving on a jet plane, leaving him behind, leaving her love behind. His voice inside her head “I’m going to miss you more than eve.. I’m going to miss you more th…. I’m going to miss you” as she slowly drifts into sleep. With the engine roaring away from the tarmac, lift off and away. His hopes flies away with her, her heart so heavy that even she couldnt not carry. He slips away to bed, thinking of how long will it take for them to meet again. For him to feel her warmth, her love, her smile, those dark, glistening peircing eyes. He's dozed off before he even realises that sleep has taken over him.
A Friendless Year
4 months ago