~ just another day ~

where has my love gone
im not just talkin about a person
but my love for living life itself
i've lost my way in too many ways
im not someone who is proud of myself anymore
i've lost the pride that let my head held up high
im not the same i was year(s) back
i've simply become a regular average next door chump

i always knew i was made for somethin larger than who im now
its just that i dont know what it is, where im suppose to be
it has always been an elusive search for inevitable loss at the end
every search begins with a perpetual question
with only the end being the beginning of another
i've lost in the race of suppose to being someone
the soul burns with only desire of roaring high above
but only to taste the dust of the earth where ma knees crumble to

i do not take interest in anythin anymore
its sad and pathetic of my ownself to know i've lost and do nothin abt it
maybe i deserve it after all, karma does have its way
i've done my fair of the dark deeds which has only sold my soul to the devil
so many deserve what i had, or whats left of it after all the destruction
im a walking disaster, a disaster too bold for my own good
i've become to embrace the darker side of me to dwell in its solitude
to only feed the hunger of my pain with more sorrow and darkness

since i lost my love, i've only searched for one thing
destroy every last thing about me that made someone fall in love with me
i've become this creature unworthy of its existance
finding if atleast guilty would wash away the love i have left of
what was taken away from me cannot be returned
and to watch it being handed over on a silver platter to someone in grande gesture
can only make it clear, she indeed deserve someone always better than me
karma just worked itself into my soul, the only way to break me is love
love for the one who i most had it for,to break me was to take it away from me
i was too proud that i was in love who i know was most beautiful in everyway through my eyes
you have ur flaws which only ppl know to point out
but i know of the love we had for each other

my present is consumed by the past i had with you
i've only searched for it some way to be locked away
too deep that even in my last moments i wudnt feel it again
making me want to live the pain even though i knew wht it wud be
and where do i stand today, just left to feeling completely worthless
where in this love was i blinded from the truth of the life
good and evil can never join to become one
i dont where i'm suppose to lead myself to now
with you around i thought i has a purpose
wish i can let myself to believe in me again
i've lost it to believe i wud ever make anything good of whats given to me
i've lost it to trust myself ever again
for once not break it down to a million pieces
to treasure it someplace safe
and right now its only the memories of you and me
no matter what has happened now and time before
no one can take what you gave me to keep deep in me
your love and the times with you
the feeling of holding you, being in love, being loved
and today for tomorrow and the day after to follow there is nothin left to take away
what was mine and mine only was taken away the day you u had to let me go
my soul just flew out of my body and i turned to nothin

where i stand today, is not where i want to be
you know abt my stubborness to even hurt myself to prove you a point
and yet you ask of me things which shud have never escaped your lips
there is nothin that i can hate you for cos i know why you did what you did
but im only glad you've finally understood it yourself
it was a choice you made, and your sticking by the choice you made
listening to BEST I EVER HAD at 2 in the mornin
thinking about how times have changed and so have we
no more long chats, no more fights on the phone, no more sorry to tell each other
no more acting cute just to get smiling like baby with all the innocence in the world
tryin to put it all in a box where i leave on a jet plane to far off land
but like always even the plane is no where to be found not even the deserted island
nothin will feel like the wy it did with you, nothin will change
everywhere its just you and simply cant help but only to pack away
and im not even lucky to do that, just the perfect end