~ personality ~

hmm is it define able in one word or a string? is it definite or constant changer? how does someone get to know the personality. just by looks or by the person itself? some say they've got a good/bad personality, but thts just talk. how is someone's personality really known to others. atleast to the ones close around, friends, parents, close cuz and list might go on. so how do we know someones personality, is it by judgin the book by its cover or are u willing to go the distance of reading the whole book? then wht?

is it a sculpture of perfection, an art of illusion for the mind, a strong seductive to keep on the edge of your life or gripped in so tight? we all have one, what is that is my question? are you sure of who ur, are u sure u wudnt change tomorrow or the day after, or are the same whom you wre yesterday, a year back? how many of us have the personality for a longer period of time. when someone meets after ages, they say it with a smile or a nasty frown "you've havent changed one bit have ya?"

well to talk about mine, i'd say i've manipulated my mind and personality. to believe there is nothin constructive in this world and man is ever changing evolutionary cycle. your just one frame the the length of time and life of the world around you. how long are you goin on the same frame? wouldnt you get bored if you had to wear the same clothes, same hairstyle, same perfume, same .... every single day of your life. take for instance the movie, the island, i dont know many critics are goin to call me stupid of quoting or refering to a sci-fi movie, but its about impulses. to feel, to know, to realise that there is something wrong, that there is another world or sphere of happenings outside where your. do you have the impulse in you, a twitch that makes you feel your meant to somethin more, a higher call?

We've all been brought up parents, by the two the most luckiest. it also matters how your parents viewed the world and life itself. its coded in your genes. to be better, to be stronger, to be more cultered(i don mean by attire or backward, i mean the liberal and intellectual sense) an overall better system. taking my line of achievements in comparison to that of my fathers and forefathers. today, i sit in an office, a desk job, handsomely paid, a very much luxurious life which i built on my own. is it cos i live my life independently, that i don have any responsibility or a family to take care of that i can choose to take risk? how does my personality affect to be who i am...? known to be the rebellion of al the 2nd generation of ppl. none of my cuz are rebellious except for another cus sis of mine( u rock grl) its not fear that my aunts n uncles have towards me, they respect me for the risk i bore to take. to stand by my judgement and to make it happen. by wht luck i have no idea, but i've made it today and have million more to do. frankly speaking i dont have a strong personality on the inside. by tht tom dick n harry, jenny, barbie and miss i'm all tht cant move an inch of who im inside but i do get affected by ppl close to me. i rarely let ppl get close to me, like to keep them at a distance n watch.

sometimes i'd talk to strangers about myself n wht happens in ma life, when would anyone be able to pin point any occurance or relate cos there is no detailed version. is it my personality that i block certain ppl and let only a few and only a very few come into my darker version. many see me as a young blood, totally rebellious anywhere i go. in office, considered as CONVICT for being true in your face. i'll say wht i have to say, i give a f about ur feelings n emotions, when it comes to work its work n u better be working. call me a natzi, but thts the wy i work, you prove to me you good in your work, then ur off ma radar n can do any jack n yet keep up the good work. you might think, who are u lil brat and why do i have to prove it to you? well when my voice needs to be heard i wud give you the royal treatment and embarass you in front any tom dick n harry, i just wudnt care, i'll tell it out and wont bother about ur explanation, its my opinion and i dont want yours back. thats one side, there are ppl who i've been up the a** and they have done a excellent job in comin back and we are just good buddies, we sit n drink n laugh about all the dirty sex jokes even make them loud out n clear in open office.. im just a guy like, u wanna laugh up im game, but if u wanna play bitchy im a good grl and i just push you away with ma loooks, you just messing with the wrong animal (LEO)

so is this all about ma personality? thats it? well no i have many sides, caring friend, not so cute but tryin hard bf, trying to be good son a mom can be proud of, being able to carry my father's name without stain? there is so much personality, sides... i dont know.. to me there is no such as one personality, its a reflection of the soul in the instance of time n frame of life that we spend in.

i have to get out of the office now, crashin off to my 3 room lonely apartment, luscious dinner, a movie on cable:) and then dig into ma personal day notes and look at ma baby's pics..and smile at her cute looks and the want of holding her tight in ma arms soon.