~ frozen present ~

another one of the old post transferred to this.. enjoy this and please leave your comments...

stuck in the present cos of the memories and my bad habits of my past
searching for a resolution, willing to make sacrifices and move on
but every time im faced with the situation i end up self destructing
dark memories and bad attitude just wouldnt let me change to be away from what costs me alot
failing everytime im put out for a test, with scars, bruises and anger from them,
learning not to make the same mistakes over and over again
wishing that i would get a chance to start anew and leave my past behind me
but we all have to live with our dark memories and hope a sunshine
or is that every time i fail i've lost the chance for a sunshine day
my mind filled with question and searching for answers
there was a place where i would have found answers
but im lost once again even though the door was shown to me and the path i needed to take
trying to keep myself together and not let anythin take over the path i want to talk
ever been so self destructing never felt gravity of what i did
learning to face consequences of actions and mistakes has made me realise not to go the same path once i did
would i live upto expectation to other people or would i become of a failure
been always the rebellion, forced out norms and practises
taking things to my own hands and done everything the way i wanted it to be
would someone stop me falling deep down into darkness and depths of wrong
or would i continue to be the warrior for the war and be the casuality of being a rebel
keep questioning about a phrase that is ever ringing in my head, to know the good there is has to somethin bad, i've been or chosen to be bad for others to know what is good, in order for them to realise that do i ruin my life or have i already become a example of that and gone far in the path of that
reminding myself there is always a way to turn back and walk towards the right path and not to keep going where am im goin
i do not see myself clearly anymore, become so hallow that there is nothin left in me for me to turn back
i see myself going down cos of wht i done
only with one happiness of the smile that i remember of the ones close to me
would this ever change and be a turn around for me
i do not like to wait for something to happen on its own but still i find myself stuck in this mess
having learnt many things in relation to looking at life and live the day one at a time
beginning to take it slow and easy and not hoping for anything
one of the things i've learned from someone whom i have a million more to learn
wait for things to take place on its own then there wudnt be disappointment
being alone has a new meaning and new beginning
even with a crowd of known faces some emptiness rests in me
haven't really found the reason to why but i've been explained its natural
would the frozen present change or wud it ever remain frozen