~ space ~

ok, this is something i wrote when i was in a depressed state of mind. this is not something you would enjoy reading, this is more about my feelings and what i was going threw, there is a load of those writing, im just putting one to check out whts the response, so peeps, read it, i wudnt say enjoy it, but do leave a comment on how you felt.. would appreciate it very much.. cheers

sitting up in an empty space around me
feeling the life been drained out of me
not feeling for anythin anylonger
wishing that i wud get a chance to tear up this emptiness
saying to myself to stop wishing but to get up and make the what i need
but where i go its just filled with emptiness
how would make anythin out of this
remembering how my life use to be colorful
and now colorles and selfless world around
my efforts of trying to paint colors in my world have failed with no effort
what do i do to turn this around
whats even more depressing is that even among a handfull of people feeling lonely runs deep inside me
tired of waiting for something to change all this
still finding reasons to my loniless
searching for an pinhole to look at color again
would any of this change, would it be different tomorrow from yesterday
just getting weak n wearing thin each second passes by
does this mean im meant to be alone like this or would there be someone or somethin to turn things around for me
everytime i hope for somethin happy to happen turns around absolutely the other way
something inside keeps blocking me from moving on
is this feeling rests only within me or is it around everyone
i do not understand how come i stand alone today
is it cos of who i was i or is it cos who i am
or do i not allow anyone else to stand with me
i can remember being with a pac
running wild n pushin hard, force u never want to try push
nothin of my past is the same today
but there is nothin in today for me
every time i recall the happiness i had in life my, leaving left alone of those memories
want to give up on tomorrow and just live the day, but not given the chance of living out tomorrow
endless hopes n dreams have made me fail about the day
nevertheless have i stopped dreaming
somewhere within rest a voice asking me fight, push harder for the tomorrow i want to live in
chances are wearing thin and i dont see myself goin anywhere
to the world im just a kid, but within me i've aged much more than a number
countless endures of pain from failing, endless outspoken moments, too much guilt, lost of hope
everything he would need to go through a man's lifetime have been through
yet i wonder whats left in for tomorrow, if there was so much in my past
questions pouring out constant
to those which i have no answer but to live and find out
would anything of what i do or say matter to anyone
would they not understand what i say or just take me for granted cos i don have the age to tell beyond what they know or understand
tired of trying to prove to others of what i can
given up on what i want and living what comes toward me
too tired to fight with people who would not understand what im trying to prove
who are looking to prove and put me down
yet there is a certain hope n love to fight with
the ones close to me has given me everything they could possibly give to keep me alive
im still finding a word to say how much they mean to me
after being through everythin with me and yet they are still with me
guess this is what you call a break between game
somethin to sit down and think about
endless nights of lonliness, vague dreams, guilty past, rough patches not consoled
what would all this mean when i wake up from my dream
am i in a transition between sleep and being awake or is it a mental state within not letting allowing myself to wake up
have i gone too far in my dreams that i would not wake up
or the voices inside me would wake me up in time
unresolved till i wake up